The wisdom is in the trees;

hai

Wed, 20 May 2009 09:05:47 GMT

i am getting lost in here.

Kaila says:

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 22:45:40 GMT

Simplicity. I crave it.

Kaila says:

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 02:06:53 GMT

Mon, Jun 02, 2008
Your emotional steadiness can play a significant role now as you act like a rock that supports those you love. Everyone seems to be demanding and you try to do the very best you can. But it really isn't too wise to give out all that energy without getting some in return, so make time to also be on the receiving end. Generosity is best shared.

Serious Thinking
This aspect indicates a time of serious, heavy, and even pessimistic thinking. You are prone to take life more seriously, but you run the risk of losing your sense of perspective. Your mental and intellectual viewpoint is narrowed during this period and you are likely to concern yourself with a smaller range of ideas. You may also root out old ideas, and this could begin a significant cycle of ideas, opinions, and communications. This can be positive, but there is the risk of overlooking important alternatives because of single-mindedness and negative, defensive thinking. This can be an excellent time for working a single idea through completely and for detailed planning. Be careful that you do not become too concerned with unrealistic perfectionistic expectations. You can become so critical that you could alienate others. There could also be problems with nervousness, speech and hearing during this period. Depression is not uncommon with this aspect in effect, so don't forget to include some playfulness in your life.

Wtf. o_o;

Kaila says:

Mon, 26 May 2008 11:56:34 GMT

It's confusing being me. o.o

Kaila says:

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 17:17:40 GMT

I think I could be responsible if I wanted too.. but.. I just don't want to. xD

Kaila says:

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 10:00:26 GMT

Life is pretty good.
=)

Sometime, I'll learn to stop worrying.

Goldfish

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:45:57 GMT

I'm in heaven sitting here munching on goldfish crackers. Did you know that they were made with smiles? =D

Kent says:
YOU
Kaila says:
Hi.
Kent says:
Your hand.
Kent says:
My hand.
Kent says:
Right now!
Kent says:
*gets in elaborate high five pose* O:
Kaila says:
*high-FIVES* =D
Kent says:
SWEEEEEEET.
Kaila says:
xDD
Kent says:
Hi xD
Kaila says:
Hiya. :3

Lololol, I'm so amused.
I got FREEEE contacts today, too.
I love my eye doctor man. He's amazing. <3
That's all. :D

Hello.

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 02:16:13 GMT

Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
I'm right here.

Desperation.

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 16:13:21 GMT

Kid.. get real.
I'm not that desperate.

(Suckin' too hard on your lollipop..)

Aha.

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:10:09 GMT

If you were doing it to please me, it did make me smile. But, the whole time I couldn't stop thinking about how fucking stupid the girl I was talking to was. I think I finally figured out what it is I just can't like about you.

I always seem to get myself into a mess.
I can't believe I did this, rofl.

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 14:26:37 GMT

Just a reminder.
If you feel like you're under control, you're not going fast enough.

Well

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:48:18 GMT

I've had more hold on myself lately.
I'm moving to Florida.. I'm going to be able to be the happy girl I once was. =]
I'm going to live with a beautiful lady and her gorgeous son.
I'm going to live closer to my best friend.
I'm going to be able to do my own thing.. finally. To not have to live under my mom's wreckless roof.

Ooiiii.
I can smell the beach already, I can see the palm trees and blue sky.

I can't wait.
I'm in love with that state.
People there say they hate it.. but...
I look at them in shock.

Mmm...
Sadly...
I think I might...
Be straying.
In several 'aspects'.

I look back sometimes and wonder.
I miss it sometimes..
But then I just got to take confidence in my decision and move forward.

However.. I didn't want to move forward in 2 seperate ways.

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 05:50:23 GMT

It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.
It's not so bad.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I just want to look at the sky and smile.

From the heart.

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 22:01:04 GMT

Kaila says:
I don't care how you think the rest of the world sees you, when I talk to you it's like my life is just that much less pathetic. I'm able to focus myself on you, on me, on us both instead of the world around us. We can lock our minds and take on anything, we can discuss anything. And for the first time in my life I'm able to know what a love that doesn't rely on anything but our souls feels like.
Kaila says:
Tell me that's not worth something.
Kaila says:
I know I'm very confusing, and the things I do and say don't make much sense when you view everything in the bigger picture.. but please don't doubt me right now.

I thought the world should know.

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 21:23:30 GMT

It don't matter to me
'Cos all I wanted to be
Is a million miles from here
Somewhere more familiar
Oh my god I can't believe it
I've never been this far away from home

28th

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 07:10:18 GMT

I'm tired of being lied to.
But then I realized all these lies are coming from the same person.

My sister said to me,
"What kind of voodoo does this girl have over you? I'd really like to know her secret. You get so pissed off at her and the next thing I see is you laughing together on the phone. She's got you totally brain warped."

I thought I knew what that 'voodoo' was, but I guess it was just your illusions again.

"When you're dating someone who likes to play tricks, you have to wonder when you're going to get tricked, Brit."

Thank you for reminding me that I can fall for anything.

27th

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 19:53:58 GMT

Well, Sheila had her first seizure the night before last.
Really freaky.
It really makes you feel helpless to watch your best canine friend go through something like that.
I just wanted to make it stop.

Apparently, when we took her to the vet they couldn't find anything wrong with her.
They guess it's just stress-induced epilepsy.
She's probably going to have more, but I know how to handle it now.
Or well, how to not handle it.

I love my puppy. ♥

Faith sent me pictures of her son.
He looks so happy!
It's really cool to see him with such a huge smile.
They said she couldn't handle having a kid..
That she wasn't responsible.
And here she is with two jobs, getting married, and doing well for her and her son.

That looks like a happy kid to me.

26th

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 06:23:38 GMT

I'm pretty tired but I wanted to ramble for a little bit. I had a very funny day today, but I just don't feel like writing about it.

I feel really scared.
When I were little, I always thought about how cool it would be to be a magician. But, I always wanted to do it because I thought it was just really awesome to watch other people's eyes light up and believe that what they saw was a part of their fantasy tying in with the harsh reality around them. It's so cool when people believe that magic is real, even though you know otherwise, and see the taste of amazement they get. Mystery brings hope.

But.. I never thought about what it'd be like to watch someone and smile not because they believed in magic, but because they believed in your lie. I suppose there's not much difference.. but then again there is.

When things are simple, everything is wonderful.
But when I observe and catch the time to think..
Do you really blame me for trembling?
I'm resting my head right next to the wild tiger.
When I see you, I can already feel the heartache.
I'm closing my eyes, anyway.

25th

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:40:36 GMT

I'm so cold. D:
Sosososo cold.
Our furnace isn't working for some reason.
;-;

Oh well.
I'm reallyyy hungry for some reason, tooo.

Another strange dream last night.
I was going to a fair with a friend, I don't remember who.
I don't even think I know her.
We were going to get there by horse,
but I didn't have a horse so she went to her friend's to get me one.

It was some lady in her 40s, rough life. Chain smoker.
She said her horse hadn't been ridden in years, she'd be glad to let him "stretch his legs".
I went to go see him and he had HUGE legs.
Like in reality he'd be dead.
His legs were at least nine feet in length,
And sitting on top was the cutest little horse.

I had to get a ladder to get on him, he reminded me of a giraffe.
Anyway, I felt like I was riding an elephant on my way over to the fair.
Apparently we went to this fair all the time, it was always in town.
They were holding a contest across a lake.
Only all the audience was on our side.

It was so strange.

24th

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 11:46:37 GMT

My head really hurts.
I'm trying to talk, but Rune tells me that I'm failing. D:
Lol. Rune knows who Matt Costa is. That makes me happy. :D
He doesn't like him, though.
Just knows about his music.

I always wondered why I write my journal entries like this.
I think it's because it makes it less like an essay..
Oh well.

I'm kind of still tipsy.
My head and stomach hurt like a bitch. D:
I ended up having to get out of bed because of it..
And God knows that I HATE having to get out of bed. rofl.

Every time I hear a love song, I think of her.
Every time someone talks about their relationship, I miss her.
Every time I find myself thinking alone, I think of her.

I like it. ♥

I know that we may not have some picture perfect beginning..
But who says it always has to be that way?
Who says anyone in the world needs to understand but us?
If it's love, that's all that matters. Right?

Oh shit.
I'm talking like that again.

...♥

23rd And One Half

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 09:18:03 GMT

I admit defeat.

In an odd way..
I don't mind.
♥

Let's do it right this time.
So tired of false alarms.
I don't want to see you hurt.
I don't want you to try and hurt me.

Truce?

I love you.
I'm sorry I'm too scared to say these words to you.

23rd

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 06:32:05 GMT

I've been thinking about cutting my hair.
Like.. seriously cutting it.

22nd

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 15:45:35 GMT

How long do you want me to sit and smile?
You want me to pretend you mean nothing to me.
But, you mean everything.

So I wonder.
Does it show?

Sigh.
Practice test today.
Yay.
92% on my math was my lowest score for the assessment tests.

I'm so tired.

21st

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 05:14:59 GMT

The only thing harder than walking away;
is never turning back.

needless to say, you're the one i need the most
cause the only one i come undone for is you.

all these heroes & thieves at my door
i can't seem to tell them apart anymore

i wish i was a bong hit
so you'd let me in
and enjoy every minute of it

You know what it is that you want, you're just afraid to admit it because you're afraid of failing. Fuck that. Fuck your fear. You know what you want, which is a hell of a lot more than most other people, so don't be afraid or ashamed.
Just go out and get it.

Once in a while you get those amazing people,
those powerful people who can see right into your heart
and speak to its infirmities.
These people posses an awesome passion
that is impossible to ignore
and destined to make you stop, breathe, and ponder.
And if you're smart,
you'll let these people change your life.

God doesn't give you the people you want.
Instead, He gives you the people you need.
To teach you, to hurt you, to love you and to
make you exactly the way you're meant to be

It's hard to get to know her because like me she keeps
her world at arms length. But in those fleeting moments
that she has let me in i have seen in her such an enormous
courage and heart that anybody would be lucky to call her theirs.

19th

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 01:53:02 GMT

In order for someone to hurt you, they need your consent.
She doesn't have that anymore. ♥

She tried every trick in the book.
I wouldn't budge.
I'll never budge.

I'm tired of such meaningless arguments.
Tired of hating her.
To be honest, I was never even really that crazy about her.
But I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
Over and over again.

But only one time did I ever get butterflies while talking to her.
AND I WAS STONED OUT OF MY MIND.
What does that tell you?

I promise.
I'm not a cold hearted bitch.
But if you knew the vile monster she can be,
You'd cheer me on.

Dry your crocodile tears.
Heartless cunt.